I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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