yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
