May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
