we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
