everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
