i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
