bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can you bring me the toilet please
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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