Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
