That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
