I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
