At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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