Your face is a jimmy john
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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