If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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