using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
