Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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