Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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