My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
then he tried to convert me to islam
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
