on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
