I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
