I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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