No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
