Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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