If i come over, it means nothing
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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