so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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