My room smells like vodka and shame
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I need a burrito and a hug.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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