She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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