whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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