omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so let's talk penis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
