Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
