if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
