We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I believe in your delicious
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
