My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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