I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
