Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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