Me too!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize