Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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