And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
