if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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