That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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