We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
