Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
