honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize