Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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