Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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