Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize