Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Even my vagina gasped.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
