Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
