I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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