She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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