Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
As shirtless as possible
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't turn off my feet"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
