I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
