By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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