Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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