I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
