Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
