Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
