So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
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Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?