Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.