Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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