Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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