I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
