The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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