I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
