Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
